3 Things the World Needs
by Path Walker
Summary: Just a one shot of random insanity. Its still funny though. At least, in my opinion.


PW: I guess its official now, all my attempts at comedy will be written in script form.

Stone Warrior- Is that really important?

PW: Well, yeah. Some readers don't like script form. *bows to reader* Gomen Reader-sama, if you don't like script form.

Stone Warrior- What?

Nail: She said 'Sorry Mr./ Ms. Reader.'

PW: Nail! *Runs into his arms*

/ I rub my temples. /

Stone Warrior- Did you have to invite him here without tell me? Again?

PW: I didn't invite him.

Nail: I just decided to surprise her. *looks to PW* Were you surprised?

PW: Very. 

*Nail and PW kiss*

/ My eye twitches in annoyance. /

Stone Warrior- May I remind you two that this is NOT a romance?

PW: Huh? Did you say some thing SW? I couldn't hear you over the vivid intensity of Nail's eyes.

*Nail and PW kiss again*

Stone Warrior- Ugh! That's enough! Do you have to do that while I'M around! 

/I look to you, the poor reader who has also been subjected to this display. /

Stone Warrior- I'm sorry for this. Path Walker, / I look over my shoulder./ who is TO BUSY TO ATTEND TO HER READERS, / I look back to you. / does not own any of the following:

Dragon Ball Z and related concepts, Guys and Dolls, Jaws or Scotts Tissue.

/ I look back at Path Walker and Nail. /

Stone Warrior- You two make out all you want! I'll be in the kitchen.

Three Things the World Needs by Path Walker

1. To randomly burst into song:

Bulma went shopping and dragged Vegeta along to carry her bags. Chichi had done the same to poor Goku. Goku had brought Gohan, who brought Goten... Who brought Piccolo...Who brought (A/N: Oh GEEZ forget this. Everybody was there on the street. That's all you need to know.)

A boy was on the street listening to the sound track to 'Guys and Dolls' when he happened to pass Yamcha while humming it. The song soon got stuck in Yamcha's head and he began singing it.

Yamcha: When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky, You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.

Piccolo: When you spot a John waiting out in the rain, Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane.

Yamcha: When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent, For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal,

Piccolo and Yamcha: Call it sad, call it funny, But it's better than even money, That the guy's only doing for some doll.  


(They prance off 'screen' as Roshi and Oolong come into view) 

Roshi: When you see a Joe saving half of his dough, You can bet they'll be minking it for some doll.

Oolong: When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford, It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb of some little broad.

  
Roshi: When you meet a mug lately out of the jug, And he's still lifting platinum fal de rall,

Roshi and Oolong: Call it hell, call it heaven, It's a probably twelve to seven, That the guy's only doing it for some doll.  


Vegeta and Goku drop their wives bags on the floor as the rest of the random people on the street join in a huge dance break in which Piccolo and Vegeta tap dance, Goku does a lot of great ballet, and Krillin a little ditty of his own.)

Goku: When you see a sport and his cash has run short, You can bet that he's banking with some doll.

Vegeta: When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white, Who the hell do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night?

Vegeta and Goku: When a lazy slob takes a good steady job, And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol,

All the guys: Call dumb, call it clever, Ah, but you can give odds forever, That the guy's only doing it for some doll, Some doll, some doll, some doll,  
That the guy's only doing it for some doll!  


(All put their hands in the air musical style until the throng of people break up. The guys give each other a 'what the heck did we just do?' look, and notice all the females of the gang are looking rather upset.)

Piccolo: We walk away, and never speak of this again.

[All the men silently nod and walk away to their fuming wives and girlfriends. (A/N: Except of course, Piccolo and the other girl-less guys. They, I leave to you ^_^)] 

------

2. Danger music:

It was 10pm. Vegeta knew he shouldn't have been out that late, but that last spar with Piccolo took longer than he anticipated.

"Heh. I'll have to spar with the Namek more often." He said, rubbing his aching neck and other aching parts. "He doesn't hold back."

As he walked through the dense forest, he thought he heard something behind him. He turned around, and it was gone.

*Jaws theme begins to play* 

"What the blast is that?" Vegeta thought aloud, referring to the music. As he continues to walk, the theme (which is basically two notes) quickens. Vegeta immediately walks faster, trying his best not to show he's nervous to the forest. But this only makes the music play faster.

"Where's that blast music coming from?!" He shouts as he begins to run, giving into the fear the tone of the music is suggesting.

He turns to the right, the music plays. The left, it plays faster.

__

I have to make it stop. He thinks franticly. _I have to get out of here!_

Vegeta looses all grip on logic and starts screaming through the woods.

"What's with the music!? Where's the Danger!? WHERE THE HECK IS IT COMING FROM!? MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT-" 

Vegeta trips on a rock. He falls and stubs his toe. The music stops.

Piccolo is welcomed by the strange site of Vegeta rolling on the ground holding his toe, and using every curse he can think of to curse the mysterious 'danger music' that had played to 'warn him.'

"Vegeta? What are you still doing here? And were you running around screaming for?"

"Namek, I'll never spar with you again."

-----

3: Free toilet paper 

But since there isn't much of a way to make that funny without it being 'toilet humor' ^_^ I've decided to pass on a lovely procession of dancing penguins. Sent to me by Chosen One (read his stuff) ^_~

Wait. Hold on a minute. 

*Runs to the closet and searches through a large library of book keeping and various other things* 

PW: I know its here somewhere... 

*Readers can see a duck, a weird purple... thing, and a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards fly by as Path Walker franticly searches. She falls into the seemingly bottomless closet and a few minutes later, a distant 'found them' is heard*

PW: And know, without further delay, the penguins! 

*A whole procession of penguins in top hats and tap shoes waddle in and start dancing to "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald * 

Love those penguins. But seriously, the world needs free toilet paper. We all use it. We all need it. So why do we have to pay for it? I mean, Scotts Tissue has got to be one of the richest corporations in America. Why? Because we all need toilet paper. Its just not fair that people have to pay for something like that. We should get that for free. And coats for the winter. And decent shoes when its cold. And SOAP! And- *PW is hauled away by the government for being to 'radical'* 

~End~

PW: *Looks at screen* Is it the end of the fic already? Gee, I hadn't noticed. 

Stone Warrior- Probably because you were necking Nail.

PW: *blush* Its none of your business what I do with Nail!

Stone Warrior- It is when it interrupts the story.

Nail: Oh, we did do that didn't we? Sorry brother, it won't happen again. 

Stone Warrior- See that it doesn't. I'm leaving. Watching you two kiss is just...Weird.

*SW leaves*

PW: So... What do you wanna do?

Nail: I dunno. What do you wanna do?

PW: Wanna watch 'The Usual Suspects'?

Nail: Sure.

*Both cuddle on the couch and watch the movie* 


End file.
